Why Leonard Cohen is never going to be Celine dion no matter how hard he tries

I never met a Canadian I didn't like. Canada has given the world so many things. Canadian Maple Syrup. Mounted Policemen. Elks. The Queen. Bryan Adams. Ryan Adams. Grizzly Adams. And of course the very considerable vocal talents of Celine Dion. PROBLEM. I was in a pub  in Covent Gardem with some of my team on Friday night and in that team there is a Canadian called Adam. He had drunk quite a few pints of Nun's Ear and he and I got into a discussion about the merits of different pop acts. He swore that Leonard Cohen was a bigger talent than Celine and that Celine hadn't even written My Heart will Go On. "That may be so" I responded "But at least she can sing. Leonard Cohen sounds like a man who can't sing singing." That quietened him. That put a flea in his ear. I hate Canadians most times.